You are made of love.
You’re defined, at your very core, by love and all that is built from its foundations. Everything that’s good in your life stems from a place of love and anything considered ‘bad’ is just resistance to this force, identified as ‘problems’ which you’ve created in your mind.
Our inability to see the truth in this statement stems from our failure to understand that absolutely everything in this world is good. Pain, suffering, anger, resentment, fear; they are all illusions. These experiences are actually here for us, and without them we couldn’t grow, which is precisely what we are here to do; learn, nurture, grow, change and transcend. What you must understand is that in order for us to expand, we must first contract. Without these so called ‘problems’ nothing would ever change and the world would be at a standstill. These ‘problems’ we face are a gift given as an opportunity for us to unfold, and a gift is always given with love.
Let’s consider for a moment, how nature intended us to deal with these so called ‘problems’.
It’s just gone one o’clock and a big, old hungry cat is on his lunch break, roaming the African plains looking for a quick snack. He spots a pretty meaty looking gazelle, and ducks behind a rock, watching her as she unknowingly munches away on her patch of grass without a care in the world. As he creeps towards her he stands on a massive branch and it snaps under his big ol’ clumsy paw. “SHIT” he says, as the gazelle freezes mid mouthful, and looks over towards the rock where she can see a long, hairy tail sticking up out of the grass. As she makes a run for it, the cat comes flying towards her, tripping over his own feet, face plants in to the ground and then tries to style it out as the gazelle manages to escape with her precious little life.
Now, I think we’re pretty safe to assume the cat didn’t go home to his wife, sit down at the kitchen table with his head in his paws and relentlessly berate himself for missing his target. Did he blame it on the argument he had with his boss that morning, or on the fact that he just ‘wasn’t feeling himself’ that day? No. Do you reckon he went to bed and cried in to his hot chocolate, filled with nothing but self-doubt, and vowed never to hunt again? Course he bloody didn’t. Cats don’t drink hot chocolate. They get back up, and they try again. Only this time they do it better, they learn from their mistakes, they watch where they tread and make sure to tuck their tails in. And more importantly, they do what they set out to do all along; they catch that gazelle. It really is that simple.
As humans however, we tend to let our emotions get in the way. They literally act as a barrier that prevents us from seeing ‘problems’ as they really are; a blessing in disguise. If your boyfriend breaks up with you and you’re in total despair about the fact that he might meet somebody new, in this rage of jealousy and rejection (Which can quite often go on for months at a time), you fail to see the wonderful benefits that come with this long awaited fresh start. You can move in to your own place, finally able to enjoy the freedom and space you’ve so desperately needed for all these months. No more pubes sprinkled on the bathtub. No more dirty socks and wet towels lying around the flat. He was selfish in bed, a terrible cook and had the worst taste in music. His sister was a bitch. He always came home late and you think he was probably cheating. But your ego was so quick to forget all of this the second you were handed that big ol’ slice of rejection pie. Suddenly you find yourself remembering ONLY the good times, and sit on your kitchen floor downing a bottle of Sauvignon, sobbing because you lost ‘the man of your dreams.’ (Really?!)
Anyway, it’s from these rock-bottom moments that we find the very strength that will propel us towards some of the greatest successes in our lives. If there were no obstacles in this life, the opportunity to triumph over them would be eradicated entirely. We would quite literally be paralyzed. What a tediously dry existence that would be! Obstacles bring excitement and challenge; they provide a platform for our transformation. Exactly how would you have found the actual man of your dreams, if you hadn’t first endured all of the other unsuccessful applicants that came before him?
So yes, pain is unavoidable. We all know I’d be lying if I said you could live a long and happy life without experiencing the utter heartbreak that comes with the death of a loved one. The same inevitability can be applied to rivalry, drama, competition, jealousy, regret and despair. But each and every one of these obstacles brings with it the opportunity to practice some form of virtue; be it persistence, reason, modesty, kindness or compassion. The list goes on. Whilst pain is the inevitable truth of our existence, the choice between virtue and struggle is what will eventually decide our fate.(Basically, whether or not we’re gonna get our shit together or stay stuck in the same old rut for years on end,)
Struggle is a choice. Resistance to love is a choice. Beating yourself up for not getting the job is a choice. I don’t care whether you’ve taken refuge under your duvet with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s or you’re sitting at the bus stop listening to Sinead O’Connor’s greatest hits in the rain. THESE ARE ALL CHOICES. The power is in your hands. Either you take the pain, learn from it, and move the fuck on – stronger and wiser than before. Or you retreat to your bedroom, bursting with negativity, cry yourself to sleep and eventually end up living a sort of half-arsed existence where you quite simply don’t show up to your own life. Your relationships suffer, your constant pessimism is causing you to vibrate at the lowest possible frequency, self-sabotaging thoughts and the onslaught of negative energy attracting more of exactly the same stuff, until that one initial ‘problem’ winds up turning in to a sea of events that can only be describes as your own personal hell.
You were built to survive. You have every single little bit of strength that you could ever need to make it through any situation life decides to throw at you. You have the answer to every single question you could ever need to ask, right there inside of you. If you just took a moment to stop, shift your perspective and see the good in every situation, you would find everything you could ever need in order to transcend this illusion we call struggle, and break through to the other side; stronger, wiser, more compassionate and far better-off than ever before.
Some of the bravest and most empathetic people I’ve ever met are those that have felt the most pain in their lives, and they really do offer the most invaluable advice. They take their newly found knowledge and use it to guide those around them, helping them to find happiness they deserve, because they know exactly how it feels to be in those very shoes. Pain allows us to crack wide open and lets the light pour in. It inspires us and encourages healing. It allows us to approach future obstacles with humility and an open heart. Whenever you find yourself at rock-bottom, just remember to thank the high heavens for this perfect opportunity to feel so very deeply, and for the chance to discover the infinite strength you have inside you.
Whatever it is you’re battling today, just know that you are so much greater than its entirety. It’s so easy to feel suffocated by your life, and hopeless about your state of affairs. I’ve found that the best thing to do when you feel as though you’re about to be swallowed whole, is take yourself out of the picture completely. Imagine that this is happening to your best friend who you love with all of your heart. If they were in this exact situation, what would you say to them? What is the most loving, compassionate advice you could possibly give? Now direct those thoughts towards yourself. Treat yourself with as much love, respect and forgiveness as you deserve. Pick yourself up off the ground, and remember just how strong you really are. What can you gain from the situation? How can it help you to grow as a person? How can you direct your thoughts outward, and how could the lessons you’ve learnt be used to help other people?
Stand up and show the world what you’re made of. Your next chapter awaits you 🙂